I have broken the seal. The seal Katy Perry frequently talks about in one of her oh so clever songs. I tasted the cherry chapstick guys. And it tasted oh so good. 

Lesbihonest, on a scale from 1 to Penny, I would rate myself a 3. Gimme a few shots though (6 or 7), and I'm more like a 7. Ask around, and they'll say I have never seen a pee pee.. Well, THEY'RE LYING. I have recently been pea-cocked. I know what you're thinking, but I spent multiple hours of my time volunteering at the zoo Friday and worked in the bird arena. Yes, I know, I'm basically the Mother fucking Theresa, but those peacocks needed a good cleaning.. 

Until next time y'all. 

-HB